GO CRESTVIEW, BEAT SHERMER
Crestview Academy takes on Shermer High in the annual John Hughes football classic match-up tonight. The cheerleaders have been called in to do a little extra heavy lifting this weekend... a little more than just cheering the Apaches on to victory over the Bulldogs. The movie club, under the leadership and direction of Richard Vergaman, promoted a "watch the movie or we'll kill the Apache" night over Thanksgiving, hoping to play on people's sensitivities to get them to watch the movie "Bad Kids Go to Hell." For some reason, many pansies out there took offense at what they called politically incorrect marketing, even though Vergaman has maintained he "was only intending to kill Kevin Bushmeister, the school mascot, who has no Indian heritage and not an actual Apache." Bushmeister, in fact, is currently undergoing treatment for a severe case of "White Privilege." Nonetheless, the cheerleading team has decided to step up to the plate and they will now be running a new marketing campaign.
--"I was only intending to kill Kevin... not an actual Apache."
-- Richard Vergaman, Movie Club President
WATCH THIS MOVIE, OR WE'LL KILL THE GIRL
So as not to offend anyone, the cheerleading team has decided to put up one of their own in the new campaign, as the latest National Lampoon cover reveals. The cheerleading team wants you to know that you can watch "Bad Kids Go to Hell" by clicking on the menu bar of the Crestview Academy Website or buy the DVD (box signed by the creators) with all the special features and extras available only at the Crestview Academy Bookstore. What better way to celebrate Ben Browder's birthday today and the upcoming victory over Shermer tonight!